Not Quite Supermom

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

A Romantic Getaway....

Recently Mr G and I have been experiencing a few small issues...

No details really required as we all know what its like to have loads of kids and have been married for QUITE A NUMBER OF YEARS.

I take great comfort from the fact that I dont think we are alone. I think it happens to the best of us.

3 kids, 2 dogs, puppies, students living in our house all year round..eventually something has to give. Right?

Yet its all been a bit of a suprise to me.... I always thought I could hold it together but actually 3 kids, 2 dogs, puppies, students living in our house all year round has taken its toll on me.

I have been pretty FED UP.

So has Mr G.

I couldnt even blog.

I KNOW!!!

The SHAME!

Many apologies.

Normal Service will be resumed shortly.

N.B. I dont think you guys will ever fully know quite how much it has meant to me that you have still checked in and looked at my blog despite my lack of enthusiasm. It has been really important to me...and I really appreciate it. Love you all XXXX


ANYHOOO.....

Mr G and I decided that we needed a BREAK.

You know:

From normal life.
The kids.
The dogs.
The students.
The house.
Work.
The world.

Just us.

Having a laugh.

Together.

Sooooo...

We book a night away.

About 1 mile from where we live. (incase the kids dont settle!)

I know.

There is no real escape!

Soooo..

We section off the children.

2 go to one close member of family.

1 to another.

We can check in from 3pm.

By 5.30pm we have finished packing for us all, have loaded the kids into the car and start to think...is it worth it?

I am slightly dubious.

Maybe we should just stay in and watch Britains Got Talent.

That normally keeps them quiet.

It feels a bit like going on holiday (see previous posts)

Mr G and I have 1 x v small handluggage.

Each child (x3) has: 1 x suitcase. 1 x special teddy bear. Bag full of snacks and special dietary requirements. Buggy x 2..the unfolding and folding of which I will have to demonstrate until said child "carer" understands the complex mechanisms within. I dont normally REALLY swear during my blog BUT:

FUCKING HELL!

Why oh Why do they make pushchairs so SODDING complicated?

But OK. Have left 3 sobbing children behind at their designated carers for the evening. Have fully explained and demonstrated the inner workings of the Macclaren pushchair (x2) and could possibly hold a powerpoint/ training workshop on how EXACTLY it folds up and down.

So if Macclaren just happen to be reading this.....I am sooo definately the right girl for the job.

We get to the hotel. Fairly quickly it must be said. It was only 1 mile away.

Its very Possshhh...





Am slightly concerned they might not let us in...

Except...

We made the booking very lastminute.com

We were planning on going somewhere else (ok...2 miles away) and then changed our minds as the hotel was in the middle of nowhere and there was nothing to do.

We thought we might be BORED...

(i mean...do you remember how lazy you were before children?)

Anyway...I had left the new arrangements to Mr G.

MISTAKE!

But what happened did have the "NotQuiteSupermom" ring to it. And actually kind of made the whole night away that bit more fun...

We get to reception. Lots of poooossshhh people having canapes and champagne in the bar AND lots of poooossshhh people checking in next to us.

Very pretty but a bit snooty receptionist: "Welcome to the Captains club."
NotQuiteSupermom and Mr G: "Ahoy there!" (no..not really..not that uncool..we just said Hi and handed over our credit card)
Very pretty but a bit snooty receptionist: "The Captains Club would like to extend a very warm welcome to you Mr and Mrs G." (I KNOW!!!..WHO talks like that!!!)
Very pretty but a bit snooty receptionist *tapping away at the computer* : "Ah. Oh. When you made the reservation for the room you were made aware that there were certain "limitations" on the room?"
Mr G: "Yes."
NotquiteSupermom: "No?"
Very pretty but a bit snooty receptionist: "Ah. I see. Well. *embarressed cough* It appears that when you booked the room there was only one room left available in the hotel."
NotquiteSupermom: "And?.."
Very pretty but a bit snooty receptionist: "Well..the only room available at that time was the disabled access suite."
NotquiteSupermom: *Hearing the word "SUITE" and thinking less stairs to climb having imbibed copious amounts of white wine* "Ok..no problem..am sure it is just perfect!"
Very pretty but a bit snooty receptionist: "Well..we gave you an able bodied discount on the suite when you booked."
NotquiteSupermom *throwing a small black look towards Mr G* "Did you? Thank you so much."

Cue Concierge:

*Opening door to room*

Concierge: "You were aware that you have booked our disabled access suite?"
NotquiteSupermom: "Well....I wasen't 100% aware...BUT I AM NOW!"

I take a small step back and survey the room and bathroom. Ok..Looks good.

Except for the fact that in the bathroom the sinks are the height of my knees. I'm not tall but its v difficult to spit out toothpaste accurately from that height. I know this as Mr G and I had a competition.

The flush for the toilet is at my ankle height and tucked in a corner.

Mr G and I did actually puzzle for hours over how a disabled bodied person would be able to flush it.

The shower has a seat in it. I made Mr G sit on it...and then nearly went off him for good.

The ABSOLUTE worst thing though:

Having surveyed the bathroom and having a good laugh we collapsed on the bed laughing at how notquitesupermommyish the whole thing was. Then I recalled something i saw in the bathroom.

NotQuiteSupermom: "ummm...Mr G"
Mr G: "yes baby" (he's starting to feel this whole weekend getaway thing)
NotQuiteSupermom: "Am I making this up or was there a chair in the bathroom?"
Mr G: "Hmmm...didnt notice but maybe?"
NotQuiteSupermom: "It wasent by any chance a commode, was it?"
Mr G: " Shall we look?..You go first."

Yes guys. It was.

Very offputting for a romantic weekend away.

But the very bestest thing about the room was the red pulley alarm cords.

They were everywhere!

You know how if you happen to sneak into the disabled toilet somewhere because you HAVE 3 CHILDREN AND YOU NEED A TOILET BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOU ALL...and you get a bit paranoid about pulling the wrong cord for the light?

Yep.

That was us.

All weekend.

And after 3 bottles of champagne..guess who wanted to pull the cords...all sodding 6 of them.

Just for a laugh?

I know!!

I didnt.

But damn. I was tempted.

Must tell you about Maitre' d next week.

We totally rocked his world.

Not.




9 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is all so true, once youstart the whole family thing you can try your hardist but a romantic night is NEVER gonna happen again

Madmamof4 said...

Tell me about it! I could do with a break from hubby, 4 kids, cat and life in general - the only thing is, and this makes me feel really bad writing it - I would leave them all and just book myself away for the weekend! I know what you mean about pulling the cords - what a temptation. Reminds me of the time when I phoned 999 - dont ask, I still get shudders thining about it lol!

Mwa said...

Very romantic. You should try again soon! It's so worth it when you get it right.

Rebecca said...

Not too sure how I found this blog but I love this post. Can't wait to read more!!!!!

Celtic Mamma Chatter said...

OMG! That is hillarious!!! Love reading your blog!

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Anonymous said...

I just spat my tea out laughing at this soooo much! having been to the C club before, I can totally picture the scene with "said" receptionist! hilarious! (and also sounds very much like a scenario that would happen to me too!)

Anonymous said...

come back wherever you may be!!

Dede said...

This post really gave me a laugh. Was so happy that you got a night away.

I love your humor and hope you really enjoyed your night free from kids and responsibilities!

 

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